Rebirth

"Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength.”

Song of the moment: Grizzly Bear: Ready, Able

Everything changes so fast sometimes it is hard to keep track of what stays the same. This is perhaps one of the most frustrating aspects of life, even when change is for the better it is easy to lose sight of the bigger picture. I have a problem I often get caught up in the bad aspects of change. what i mean by this is too often i focus on the sad aspects of change rather than the positive lessons to be learned.

My change lately came with the loss of a relationship that turned out to be toxic and harmful. Yet for weeks i was in a slump even as new information came to light i thought that i would never be strong enough to take back my life. In this case it was so easy just to fall apart and let go of everything i had worked so hard for. Then i realized something, it was the bigger picture, this was not the end of my life but rather a new beginning, a rebirth, a chance to get back on track, to make new goals and to learn from change.

So here i am on day one of my rebirth, I have chosen to be strong, to not fall apart when it could be so easy to do so because in the end my energy is better off being used in a much more predictive manner.

As of March 8Th 2010 my goals are:
1. To eat clean paleo food, no more sugar or drinking for at least 1 month,( i say a month because this is a realistic manageable goal which can be reevaluated later.) food journaling every day
2. To go to crossfit at least 4 times per week and to try to maintain a 3 day on 1 day off schedule, I want to train for the 2011 crossfit games. this includes keeping track of my workouts.
3. To maintain balance in all areas of my life, spiritually, financially, academically, physically, and socially
4. To celebrate each day and to live life the way i want to live rather than letting others dictate my path.
5. to smile at least once a day and to try a commit one random act of kindness for someone else
6. to graduate :)

well i think that is enough to work on for now. I know none of these goals will be easy yet I know that through each change, i can become a better, stronger person. I am not afraid of a challenge it drives me to obtain the impossible each and every day. I know i am not alone in this journey, my strength comes from god, from my family, and from my friends. Falling apart is not an option and as painful as each step may be I have the courage to fight and become stronger each and every day.